I’ve spent a decade fighting for my son’s future.

Today, as I make my way to what feels like, must be meeting number 10,025 with the school, I want to share a little download for any parents who are just starting out on this EHCP journey.

I’ve been on this journey for ten years now.

And when you first enter the world of autism , truthfully you don’t have a clue what you’re doing.

You just hope…
Maybe someone will show you.
Maybe a more experienced parent.
Maybe somebody in your community.

But really?
You’re so traumatised, so in shock, you don’t know what you’re doing.

For me, I was constantly on high alert.

I turned into this warrior mother, trying to gather as much information as possible, trying to decode acronyms, ringing the local authority, being put on hold, sending endless emails.

It was like a masterclass in building a FTSE 500 company, because there’s so much bureaucracy.
So much red tape.
Understanding what you’re allowed, what you’re not allowed.

Things you didn’t even know you were supposed to have access to.

Every time I look back, honestly most of the stuff that helped me didn’t come from a book.
It didn’t come from a website.

It came from a passing comment by someone else who’d travelled the road before me.

And that… you can’t download.
You can’t Google it.
You can’t shortcut it.

Some of the most incredible moments that have kept me going on this journey have come from a passer-by.
Another parent.
A small conversation.
A piece of hard-won wisdom dropped into my lap.

So if you’re a parent just starting this journey, hear me: There is no blueprint.
There isn’t one.

What you need is downloads from people who’ve been there before you.

Today, we’re going to review Quincy’s EHCP.
But this time, it’s not about the here and now.

This time, we’re reviewing it looking at where he’s going to be.

Yes, I’m going to say the word — adulthood.

We’re flashing forward to 18, and then coming back to where we want him to be by 16.

Because this is the kind of long-term planning you have to do when you have a child with ASD.

So here’s my advice, parents, from someone ten years in:

▪️Always ask.
 Ask questions.
Ask questions to people who already have adults who’ve made it through the system.
And know this, it does get easier.

There were times I’d go into these meetings, my legs shaking, my heart racing.

I knew I was going to get triggered by them just suggesting what his individual education plan might look like.

I had to hold my tongue.
Hold my breath.

Process their words in my mind before I spoke, so I didn’t come off sounding like a raving, crazy person.

It takes so much recalibration.

So to any parent who’s right in the midst of it, 
In the madness.
On high alert.
Trying to get your kid everything, even though you don’t actually know what everything is yet.

All you know is you want them to be included.
You want people to believe in them, to see the greatness in them.

Hear me now — I’m literally standing on the mountaintop.

You will make it through.
You will get there.

But you need a support network.
You need people who’ve walked this road.

So if anyone reading this is in the middle of it — I don’t have all the answers.

But what I can tell you is someone out there does.

So start asking.
Ask people who’ve managed to get their children to a place where they’re thriving.

And also, be mindful of trauma dumping.
Because that is real in this space.
We’ve got to be careful not to offload so heavily onto each other that none of us can stand up again.

So as I sign off today, I want to say this:
To every parent on their EHCP journey (Educational Health Care Plan)

I’m ten years in.
I’ve got a decade of experience and knowledge.
But the people who helped me?
They had two decades.

So go find someone who’s further along.
Ask for advice.
Don’t be afraid to ask.
And when they answer — listen.

You don’t have to do everything they say.
But be open.
Stay open.

Because this road isn’t straight, but there is light ahead.

And I promise you will get there.