Telling someone to “be resilient” can sometimes be triggering because in the moment of struggle, resilience isn’t the goal.

I was driving back today and saw a bike with two pink child seats on it, placed back to back.

As I looked closer, I noticed a woman in her forties.

She had a baby attached to her in a cradle, was holding the hand of a toddler around three years old, and there was another child behind that toddler.

It was raining, and the scene was extraordinary.

This woman was about to ride her bike with three young children. I wondered what went through her mind when she decided to get the bike out and take the new baby and the two toddlers out.

What did it take to actually get out of the house and go for a bike ride? 

As I observed, the bike was nearly falling over, the wind was blowing fiercely, one child was trying to pull away, and the other looked quite sad.

It was a massive balancing act.

As I drove past in my car, I thought, “Now that’s what resilience looks like.”

When we talk about resilience, we often refer to the ability to withstand adversity and bounce back from difficult situations.

But what does resilience look like in action?

It’s not something you recognise in the moment. When you’re in the thick of it, facing challenges head-on, what you’re experiencing is commitment, determination, and a never-give-up attitude.

Resilience is what we call it in hindsight.

It’s the reflection on those moments of determination and commitment, realising that you persisted despite the odds. It’s the aftermath, the acknowledgment of having pushed through when it was tough.

Telling someone to “be resilient” can sometimes be triggering because in the moment of struggle, resilience isn’t the goal 

So, next time you face a challenge, remember that resilience is the story you tell afterward.

In the moment, focus on your determination and commitment.

Keep pushing, keep striving, and one day, you’ll look back and see just how resilient you truly were.