A lesson from my full hearted mum…

Today my mum should have turned 87.

Seven years on, her absence continues to sharpen my understanding of what truly matters.

Recently I heard a line on a podcast that made me pause.It was about money and time, but really, it was about value.

If someone offered you a million pounds but told you you’d die tomorrow… you’d decline it.
Because money loses all meaning without time.

And yet, if you had a million pounds and someone said you’d die tomorrow unless you gave it up, you’d hand it over in seconds.

Why?
Because when the illusion of endless time disappears, priorities rearrange themselves instantly.

This is the human blind spot! We mismanage our time because we assume we have more of it.

Losing my mum removed that assumption for me.

It pushed me to ask different questions I need to confront.

1. Where am I investing time that returns stress instead of joy?

2. Where am I compromising who I am ?

3. Who am I allowing repeated access to my time simply because I hope they’ll become who I wish they were?

Bereavement has a strange clarity. You see who the people actually are in those moments.

There’s a quote I come back to often!
“Circumstances don’t make you; they reveal you to yourself”

And over the last seven years I’ve learned that you can forgive people. You can try to understand them.
But forgiveness doesn’t require repetition.
Understanding doesn’t require access.
And empathy doesn’t require self-abandonment.

One of my lifelong habits has been explaining behaviour, offering grace, finding reasons.
Because I truly believe people are good.

But I’ve learned hard lessons.
If you’re always searching for the good, you can accidentally blind yourself to the truth.

Your time is your most valuable asset. 
Treat it like an investment, not a donation.

Ask yourself:
Is this relationship giving me a return?
Is this environment building me up or brining me down?

The principle that now guides all my decisions — the one that reshaped my life this year is..

“When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.” - Maya Angelou

This is how I  protect my time from emotional  bankruptcy.

My mum’s birthday reminds me of one truth.

Time is not guaranteed, so I’ll spend mine wisely.