Our home had a rubbish problem, and the new bin men wouldn’t take the extras. While my husband was sure that talking was futile, I believed people could be reasonable.
With that mindset, I sought to understand the issue. And what I discovered was a game-changer: the problem wasn’t with the bin men but with the system they had to follow.
Two Ways of Looking at Rubbish
My husband and I had different views on our rubbish dilemma. He felt talking would be useless, while I believed that understanding the issue was vital. Because I was committed to knowing, I discovered the real issue.
How I Found Out
When I learned that the driver spoke Italian, I suspected the problem could be a language barrier. Thankfully, I was able to FaceTime my best friend’s husband, Alessandro, who lives in Italy, and ask him to translate. Alessandro captured my tone and vibe, ensuring that the bin man knew I wasn’t being difficult. With Alessandro as our mediator, we quickly uncovered the actual challenge.
The Three R’s: Recognise, Reach Out, Reliable
This experience reminded me of a principle I often discuss in my workshops: the Three R’s. First, Recognise the problem; second, Reach Out for help; and third, choose someone Reliable. Alessandro fit all these criteria, and his help was invaluable.
Why This Matters at Work
Office miscommunications are like my rubbish problem. By actively listening and striving to understand—rather than just hearing—we can break down many barriers.
Taking Responsibility for Communication
We can change a lot by taking responsibility for how we communicate. What you perceive is not always the full story. As a mindset coach, I teach teams to take charge of their reactions, to ensure more harmonious work environments.
Simple Steps for Change:
1. Active Listening: Make it your goal to truly understand what others are saying.
2. Open-Mindedness: Keep an open mind, don’t shut people down.
3. Be Solution-Oriented: Focus on finding solutions, not on the problems themselves.
4. Be Accountable: Take responsibility for your own actions and reactions.
This is a concept I often share in my talks, training sessions, and workshops with role play and interactions.