Gratitude doesn’t erase grief.

This morning I woke up early and just watched my children sleep.

Because this is my week.

And it hit me…
Nobody talks about the grief of not having your children full-time.

Yes, I’m grateful they have a dad who shows up and shares the parenting load.

But gratitude doesn’t erase grief.

For 14 years, my number one priority every single morning was them.
Hugs breakfast conversations, negotiations and everything around the edges.

Now they’re 14 and 12 — the most important years.

I know this because schools call me every year:
“Can you help us uplift and inspire our Year 8s, 9s, and 10s?”

Because these are the fragile years, when they’re changing physically, mentally, emotionally.
The years they need anchors.

Did you know the human brain doesn’t fully develop until 25?
Parents, we are needed.

And yet… I woke up happy, but instantly sad.
Because I don’t like sharing my children.

Funny, isn’t it?
One of the first things we teach children is how to share.
But no one prepares you for sharing them.

And truthfully…
It’s more hurtful when I have them.
Because that’s when I see exactly what I’m missing.

Grief is quiet.
It’s invisible.
It doesn’t just come from death, sometimes it comes from distance.

On the weeks when we’re apart, I throw myself into work.

So the next time someone says,

“You should have stayed in your marriage,”
I’ll simply smile and say,
“You must mean I’m brave.”

Because it’s harder to stop something than to stay in something.

It’s harder to leave than to linger.
It’s harder to walk away from what you never wanted to quit.

To every woman who’s ever done that 
Who’s had to choose healing over habit,
Freedom over familiarity,
And truth over tolerance 
Well done, you.

It’s harder to leave.
But you did it.

When you take your last breath,
You won’t be choking on regret, 
You’ll be exhaling peace.